About the Event:

In a new book “Difficult: Mothering Challenging Adult Children through Conflict and Change”, Dr. Judith Smith uses detailed case studies and social science research to illustrate the strain that occurs when older women unexpectedly have to resume their parenting career and re-open their homes to their adult children. Dr. Smith coined the term “difficult adult child” after listening to 50 U.S. women share stories of how their adult child’s chronic unemployment, mental illness, or substance use created difficult or impossible choices for them as mothers. Each woman struggled with the conflict of whose needs take precedence – mine or my adult child’s? These families have kept their pain, worry, and ambivalence hidden for too long, due to the stigma and shame linked with their adult children’s failure to be independent. Their candid stories shine a light on the personal cost families experience when they become the default safety-net for their vulnerable adult children.

Drawing on her clinical social work experiences and expertise in child development and family policy, Dr. Smith will discuss the underfunded mental health system, the limits of the American welfare state, and how deeply women have internalized the mandate to be a “good mother” till the end. Based on her cross-cultural research and teaching experiences, Dr. Smith will also reflect on the family situation of Chinese and Asian Indian older women who uproot themselves to come to the U.S. to provide childcare for their grandchildren so that their adult children can pursue their dreams and succeed in America. Dr. Manoj Pardasani, Dean and Professor at Adelphi University School of Social Work and co-author with Dr. Smith on a cross-cultural study of parenting in later life among American and Asian Indian older parents, will be the discussant. 

About the Speakers:

Presenter: Judith R. Smith, PhD, LCSW, is a senior clinical social worker, therapist, researcher, and professor at Fordham University Graduate School of Social Service. She is a fellow of the Gerontological Society of America and a faculty scholar at Fordham University’s Ravazzin Center on Aging and Intergenerational Studies. Dr. Smith is a leader in gerontological research focusing on women’s experiences as they age. She was a guest professor of social work at China Youth University of Political Studies and is the author of many articles in peer-reviewed journals. Her book “Difficult: Mothering Challenging Adult Children through Conflict and Change” was released by Rowman & Littlefield in February 2022.

Discussant: Manoj Pardasani, PhD, LCSW, is Dean and Professor at Adelphi University School of Social Work. He started his social work career in senior centers and that sparked his lifelong passion for the study of senior centers and community-based services for older adults. He has also served as a social worker and then administrator in various organizations serving the homeless, individuals living with HIV/AIDS, and individuals diagnosed with serious and persistent mental illness. Dr. Pardasani has published widely and his research has resulted in significant increases in public funding for gerontological social services in New York City and program innovations in senior centers nationwide. He has taught as a visiting professor in China, Germany, Chile, and the United Kingdom.

Moderator: Qin Gao, PhD, is Professor and Director of China Center for Social Policy at Columbia University School of Social Work. Dr. Gao’s research examines the changing Chinese society—including aging and care, poverty and income distribution, health and mental health—and social policies and services that address these challenges. She also studies the well-being of rural-to-urban migrants in China and Asian immigrants in the U.S. Her book, Welfare, Work, and Poverty: Social Assistance in China (Oxford University Press, 2017), presents a systematic and comprehensive evaluation of the world’s largest social welfare program, Dibao.